1) Heather Mills
2) Yoko Ono
3) Francie Schwartz
4) McCartney II
5) C Moon
6) 1969. The lack of personal grooming. *shudder*
7) 1967. The year of ridiculous moustaches + goatees.
8) Pete Best.
9) The Butcher cover. Gorgeous men, disgusting idea.
10) The story of 'Yesterday'. Paul has told and retold it approximately 1 billion times.
11) Bungalow Bill. A third grader could write better lyrics.
12) The Maharishi AKA the Monkey Man.
13) Mid '70s = Paul's greasy MULLET.
14) Mid '70s = Paul's nasty fashion sense (stripes + plaid equal a very tacky Paul).
15) The MOVIE 'Let It Be'. Who wants to see the band at eachothers' throats?
16) Linda McCartney's teased bangs in the '70s. Why, God, why?
17) Ringo, the train conductor. From Beatle to washed up children's show star.
18) The Midget from 'Magical Mystery Tour'.
19) And aunt Jessie while your at it.
20) Yoko singing AT ALL on ANY John song. Baaaaad idea.
21) George's early '70s goatee. Ugh.
22) George's hair pulled back in a ponytail w/ a nasty beard circa 1995, Beatle Anthology period.
23) John's sideburns in 1968.
24) The promotional video for 'Got My Mind Set On You'. '80s badness at its height.
26) George's bottom teeth during the 'Let It Be' period. GEORGE looked hot. His teeth did not.
27) Paul publicity stunt #306: Taking a whizz for an album cover ('Driving Rain').
28) The infamous Paul camera-watch. What jolly good times. 'A man could do great things with a watch like that. A man could do great things.'
29) The jelly baby phase. That got old fast.
30) Murrey the K (ie. Wanker the K). Fifth Beatle, my @ss.
31) Two Virgins.
32) Yoko's idea of art.
33) Manager's book 'A Cellar Full of Noise'. "My name is Brian Epstein, manager of the Beatles......love me."
34) Ruth McCartney, SUPPOSED sister to Paul. Stop pretending you knew Paul as well as you say. Your not Paul's sister.
35) Aljamon from the movie "Help!". Aljamon, the FAT scientist. Good times.
36) "The Quiet Beatle". Which one of you Nazi-b@stards thought it would be "cute" to give the adorable, intellectual George Harrison a pet-name like "The Quiet One"?
37) Aunt Mimi. Strict, uptight priss who DISCOURAGED John from becoming a musician. Look who had the last laugh now.
38) In 1995, a beautiful thing happened. Paul started growing...down. He went from early '90s, long grey-haired, anti-fashion bloke to what he is today: tight-skinned, sparkling eyed, dark haired FOX with a sense of fashion.
39) Big Bob from the movie "Give My Regards to Broadstreet". Another fattie.
40) Mid-60s BAN the BEATLES phase with BURNING of the BEATLES items (record, books, memorabilia). To all of those who participated in this act of unGodliness, those books and memorabilia are worth a fortune now. Jokes on you, conservative b@stards.
41) Alfred Lennon, John's father. Left John, but magically comes back when the money starts rolling in.
42) Stupid fan questions. "Is your hair real?"
43) 7 minutes of "She's So Heavy" at the end of "I Want You". Unnecessary.
44) Number 9, number 9, number 9... (Hey, it made a great song when the Beatles were high).
45) Smoking. Smoking is the devil.
46) The character voices for the movie, "Yellow Submarine". Eh, hullo lads, I'm one of the Beatles and I'm English so I tawk like this, ya know. I like birds and tea because I'm British. Cheerio.
47) Paul's "yo tight, dawg" phase circa Flaming Pie days. Remember him carrying that huge boom-box in the promo for "I Can See the World Tonight"? Paul, aren't you ghetto?
48) Ringo selling out for any available commercial advertisement.
49) Ridiculously priced Beatle memorabilia. ie One inflatable Beatle matress...$999. Kiss my arse.
This list was inspired by "The Secrets And Flaming Pies" page, "VH1 Aint Got Nothing On Us" which was tragically deleted. May the legacy of Beatle boo-boos live on!
"At my house, we call them uh-oh's." -Ralph Wiggam
|Ooga Ooga! You found the Troll!
|Save the Troll and add the little rascal to your web-site! Be sure to link him back to *GBB*.