This Just In!
"DRIVING RAIN" reaches stores 11-13-01! Grab your copy today!
Paul performing for the New York benefit concert!
Pictured above is the cover of Paul McCartney's new album, "Driving Rain" which will be released this November.
I've learned several interesting aspects about this newer album - 1) "Heather" is the title of one of the
soundtracks. *sigh* 2) "Driving Rain" has already been released all over the web, and people are getting a sneak
peek of the whole album. Paul expects to lose millions because of this unpredictable happening, and he urges you not to go
to these pages that are promoting his album on the net for free. I, too must encourage you NOT to submit to temptation, and
please wait the extra month for the album's release. You'll be doing Paul a great favor! 3) The cover. Such an interesting
picture, isn't it? But where did it come from, who took it, and where? One of the answers is John but it's not what you're
Reporters inform us that the album cover photo was taken in the JOHN where Paul was using a urinal to pee,
and he took the picture with the camera in his watch! Could this be the same watch he interrupted Larry
King with, when Larry was trying to ask his feelings after Lennon's death? Perhaps! But regardless of which watch he used,
we can feel rest assured that Paul ain't gonna lose much $$$ when people may start buying his album just for the sake of
having a picture of Paul takin' a wee! Bravo, Paul. You trully are a charming man - oh excuse me, I mean SIR Paul!
Macca To the Rescue!
Help is on the way! New York, left in devastation
after 9-11's tragedy, can expect a little cheer coming there way. It is reported that Sir Paul McCartney will be performing
at the Big Apple, in a benefit concert to raise money for the families of the lost firemen. After hearing the devastating
news, legend has it Paul's heart grew three times as large! I was proud to learn the news, as this really proves how
thoughtful our beloved Macca is. In his own words, "What I am going to do is a concert here in New York within the
next month to benefit all the firemen. I also have a connection there, because my father was a fireman in Liverpool during
World War II."
"I am doing this benefit gig
because, to borrow a phrase, I love New York. I was there when the tragedy occurred and I watched the last moments of the
World Trade Center. I was on the runway at JFK airport when the captain announced we were grounded. We couldn't believe
what was happening. Although I was very sad, I was able to witness the tremendous heroism that has come out of the city
since this disaster. I am honoured and proud that I might in some way be able to do something to benefit the families of
the victims -including the New York firemen. I have a special connection with the fire- fighters because my dad was a
volunteer fireman in Liverpool during the war. Like the rest of the world, I have great admiration for the amazing courage
those guys showed."
And now, an *impartial* article written by Yours Trully.
The Daily Gossip
This portion of the news was created in light of Paul's latest publicity stunts: what we like to call Operation Look-At-Me.
Recently, I've been asked why most-all our news stories focus only on Paul and not the other Beatles. No offense, but I'm
afraid John and George probably aren't up to much these days. Which leaves Paul and Ringo, and does anyone really
give a crap what Ringo has been up to (just kidding!)? But the reality whether you choose to accept it or not is
this: our beloved Paul, member of the Beatles and solo song writer, is indeed...a sell-out. You read his name in the
tabloids more than ANY other icon from the '60s, because unlike the majority, Paul finds it necessary to be in the eye of
the public even when sometimes, we wish he wouldn't. So this section is here to keep you updated on what mischief the Sir
has dug himself into and let you mumble under your breath, "Dammit, Paul!"
So what does your average ex-Beatle do when record sales are low and publicity
is not at its best? Ask Sir Paul! Former Beatle, and infamous story-teller to the Ballad of Yesterday has fallen into his
artistic cloud...once again. Soon to be on sale are Paul's newly designed STAMPS with a theme called "The Isle of Man".
Hmmm, a pretty fancy phrase to describe these not-to-influenced mini-squares of what they are calling "true art". Six
designs have been made to hit the market soon, and each display that Macca touch: or otherwise known as a boring Saturday
spent on his computer, doodling in Paint mode. The designs are in actuallity, 6 different flower-type pictures which are as
entertaining and wonderous as the gap in Oprah's two front teeth (whether that gap amuses you or not is your own affair).
This isn't Sir Macca's first attempt at an obvious Op. LAM scam: only several years back was his book of paintings published
and soon after, a book of poetry. The things John did in his prime have now influenced Paul is his...well, you know. Some
might say the Sir is trying to, in fact, become his old friend Lennon. A frighteningly realistic accusation. And
sadly enough, the stamps are expecting to sell like beanie babies back in 1998. Not for their artistic
significance, but the fact that PAUL MCCARTNEY made them. What a redundant scenerio. Rock on, Sir.
"In MY Opinion"
*NEW* This is just a little space where I can speak my mind about various topics, most-all with some
relevance to the Beatles. Enjoy my opinions...
Here's a nice thought not too many people as screwed up as myself have ever pondered to
consider: Surely, you recall all of the Beatles wives and girlfriends, correct? Pattie, Jane, Cynthia, Maureen, Olivia,
Linda, and Barbara (you already know the rest)? Here's my thought (and prepare to be facinated): each one of
these girls have had sex with a Beatle. Amazing! We all envy these girls, and their status as Beatle-Goddesses. We also
look at their kids and say, "What cute children!" But those kids didn't just pop out of thin air! Those lucky, Lucky, LUCKY
women each had their way with a Beatle and God only knows how many times. That, in itself, is a life-time acheivement!
That, my friends, is something you take with you everywhere (and trust me on this one, Francie Schwartz DOES).
You'll take it to the grave someday! Of course, some of these girls have Beatle children and THAT is something!
That child is evidence, living PROOF that at one point or another, you did it with a Beatle. Such chicks as Linda and
Olivia, Maureen and Yoko, Cynthia and maybe even Peg (eeew!) will carry that dignity. It's something one must feel proud
about. Strange as it seems, not too many of the kids look like their strikingly gorgeous fathers. Okay, I get a lot
of you telling me how similar John and Jullian are but take one more closer look. I grant you there is a
resemblance, but surely not one to brag about. Take a look at Sean! He's as Asian as they come, which is not a bad
thing, but it's no Lennon look-a-like if you ask me. IN MY OPINION, Dhani Harrison is the walking,
talking Beatle among the group. The boy is drop-dead gorgeous and he looks so remarkabley similar to his pop. Recently, I
heard some nice news from a friend named Nicole. She dropped me a line about how she met folks who went to Brown- the
University Dhani Harrison went to. "Yeah we know him! He was always hanging around the bars and stuff. He's just
like a normal guy!" said the student. This was good news to hear after recently hearing the story accusing him
of being "snotty" and "spoiled". Ah, Dhani is our only living link to Harri himself. To see more of this cute Harri
son, click HERE (we feature an entire
page for him entitled the Mexican George
). And thats my 2 cents worth!
Critisizing the Critics
A couple days ago, I decided I would go see a movie. I
was still wondering what I wanted to see when I came across a web-site called "Rotten Tomatos". It had a listing
of the movies currently in theaters and many linked reviews posted by magazine critics. I checked out the reviews for what
was playing but to my dismay, it seemed like every movie playing was stacked with poor reviews. The web-site had a system
of rating each movie. Bad reviews represented a rotten tomato and the good reviews respresented a "fresh" film.
Out of all the reviews listed, they would give the percent of ROTTEN TOMATOS or FRESH TOMATOS, depending on if the flick
was popular with the critics. So I was more than shocked to read all these very bad reviews for nearly everything. That
day, I ended up seeing "A Walk to Remember". It was excellent! Not a single flaw in the movie. I was impressed by
Mandy Moore's acting ability and this was quite a shocker. After all, I absolutely can't STAND when these rising pop stars
decide they will make a movie because since they can sing, they must be able to automatically act, right? Excluding the
Beatles, most musicians were not meant for the theater and unfortunately, these annoying, wanna-be multi-talented, over-paid
PR*CKS are making films. Mariah Carey enriched us with "Glitter", one of those NYSNC guys delighted us with God
knows what it's called, and now, Britney-Love-Me-Cuz-I'm-Cute-Spears has derrived "Cross Roads". All big FAT
flops. But let's face it: musicians are gonna be stinking up the stage for years to come until they finally realize how
much they suck at it. NOW! That is exactly why I was impress with Mandy's performance. The movie had humor, romance, tears
and all! It was just grand. That evening when I got home, I was more than interested to read what the crits at Rotten
Tomatoes had to say. 'There was NOTHING wrong with THAT movie. NOOOOOW, how can they hate it?' I looked it up and what do I
get? Quotes like "It drowned in sap", "Totally predictable", "Weak acting" and "A Walk
to Forget". I was purely DISGUSTED! Here is a beautifully wholesome and entertaining movie being utterly BASHED by
cold-hearted critics. The same PR*CKS that are suppose to influence our thoughts and opinions on a film. I was just
outraged. I was about to exit the page when a thought crossed my mind. I hadn't checked the reviews for any BAD movies yet.
I had only read reviews for movies I would have liked. But I didn't read the reviews for oh, let's say
"Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings" (AKA Harry Potter 2), and "Monsters Inc.". Now I'm
touching enemy lines by talking bad about these films because they are largely popular. So before you read on, let me say
this: There's NOTHING wrong with any of you liking these movies. I can respect that, different strokes for different folks.
I'm not trying to offend anybody but this is just my opinion and in my opinion, I do not enjoy fantasy movies. BACK TO MY
STORY! I check out the reviews for these three movies. And what do you know? GOOD GOOD GOOD! How freaking typical. The
critics LOVED these 3 movies and each one had maybe 2 or 3 rotten tomatos. *NOW* whose the one being predictable?! Here's
my thoughts: The internationally known, approved, and respected critics of today like only a selected few movies that are
EXACTLY the same. They loath a good comedy, bash an emotional flick, and dismiss all in between. They view all the negative
in a movie and take CRITICIZING to a new level. They hate wholesome but love death. They hate humor but enjoy war. They
can't stand reality but appraise fantasy. Take a look at the most recognizably critically acclaimed films: Star Wars,
Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings. Sense a pattern? If a movie's got blood and guts, a critic smiles with a wicked
satisfaction. If a movie's got tears and heart-break, a critic bashes and complains. Do I value the opinions of critics
today? Most certainly not. As Lennon would say, "narrow-minded hypocritics". My advice: make the judgments and
persecution for youself. Don't trust someone who gets paid to be negative. Go see a film and decide for yourself whether
you like it or not. Trust me, you'll be a lot happier you did!
That's My Silly Heather!
Sweet, innocent, naive love of Paul's life? Or the missing village idiot? The
question lingers on, but the answer will always be Heather Mills. The 33 (or is it 31?)-year-old ex-model had a song named
after her on lover, Paul McCartney's newest album, "Driving Rain", released November 13, 2001. The song had a
special story behind it: Paul was playing this new song he was still writing for the new album. He jammed away when Heather
came along and said how it was a good song, asking what Beatle song it was. Paul laughed at the stupidifed Mills, who stood
bewildered at his reaction. They both knew that she was never a big-time Beatle fan in her day. Thus, he called the song
"Heather" as a reward to her ignorance. In Paul's life, there will be many 'Silly Heather' anecdotes to come, but
in the meantime we have an exclusive straight from personal expirience! My bud, Rori used to attend the Liverpudlian music
school LIPA, a college owned by Paul McCartney himself. She had various meetings with him, and funny stories to tell from
her encounters (you can read all about them at the "Beatle Encounters" page) since he was always roaming about.
Here is her latest dig on Paul and Heather: " The other time he was at the school, he was showing Heather around and I
swear the man only has one story about LIPA., because I heard it at least 3 times! But anyway, he's telling her about how
he went to the school when he was a kid and all that and then he's telling her that he and George used to have tea and then
ride the bus home together. So she goes, 'George who?' He was like 'George, George Harrison!' I couldn't help it my friend
and I laughed! HE was pissed!"
More Gossip: Paul's Juicy Secrets
Need a little bedtime reading? Just ask Paul to borrow from his stash! Yes, its true. Paul McCartney and Heather were
spotted in a bookstore, browsing the novels and stories. They made a couple purchases - and one Paul couldn't sneak from
the press! Alledgedly, Heather bought several childrens books. Innocent enough. But Paul had something else in mind...to be
more precise: "100 Truly Explosive Ways to Org@sm"! The wedding's in one year and Paul's not wasting any time
preparing for the honeymoon!
Poise. Grace. Charm. May I present to you...
The Future Mrs. Paul McCartney
May the good Lord have mercy on us
Beatles On The Tube
Beatle movies, Beatle appearances, Beatle TV! Check back soon to see the latest Beatle TV schedules.
Going to the Movies...
With Heather Mills
Tee hee! Its time to go to the
movies with ME, your honest and faithful movie-goer, Heather. I think movies are coolio, so I have decided to write a new
column regarding the movies I totally go and see. Check out this tabloid-
"Sorority Boys" Review (3-26-02)
Yeah, so I totally got to see this movie and it was all like, coolio. Tee hee, here is my little summary thingy:
These dudes in a school get all busted and junk for stealing money (hey! that's not nice). They "claimed" they didn't take
it and blamed this other dude (hmmm, why does this sound familiar?). Then, the boys completely disappear and all of a
sudden, these girls come out of no where and start going to a girl school. Wow, isn't this confusing? I SO agree with you.
The girls act really strange the whole movie until the climax, when all of a sudden, they turn into the three boys in the
beginning of the movie! Yeah, who could keep up with a plot line like THAT? Not me! Tee hee. What's a "sorority" anyways?
Hey, it totally rhymes with "minority"! Yeah, I think minorities are mean. Whenever I act all ghetto, they get mad and
throw things at me. Not neato! Oh! Yesterday, this little Asian kid and I saw a penny on the floor (actually, I think I saw
it first). We both reached for it but I was lucky enough to snatch it away first. She started crying which was totally
making me look bad! I ended up throwing the penny at her and she stopped crying, the little brat. But I think that is just
a prime example of how racially tolerant, understanding, and neato I am. I hate prejud-inism in all its forms. Like, coolio,
I totally sound like a humanitariuministic person thingy. Oh wait...what were we talking about? Oh yeah, go see
"Minority Boys" for sh*ts and giggles. And don't be prejudice! Its just not nice...
The Oscars (3-24-02)
Okay, so maybe the Oscar thingy isn't a "movie" but I can still totally review its ass anyway! Tee hee! So like, here's the
scoop. My really rich boyfriend and I went to this award ceremony thingy for some guy named Oscar. I think he's the dude who
invented hot dogs, right? Yeah, Oscar Meyer. Good guy. Hey, I wonder if he's richer than PAUL...I guess I'll have to ask
Jeeves. Anywho! Did you all see my close-up?!? Thats right! For a small instant, they showed me and what's-his-face. I
looked SO good! But I thought the whole awards thingy was gay. Okay, so first of all, they totally didn't sell hot dogs! I
mean, what's up with that?! This guy is all famous and junk for inventing hot dogs and they don't even sell them! Wow, I
should totally get into marketing and junk! I'm so smart and technilogical-like. Yeah. Secondly, NO ONE nominated ME for an
award! WHAT THE BLOODY F*CK (Tee hee, Paul says that ALL the time)?! I mean, I was SO much cuter than all those skinny
broads. I should have won an award! I should SO make my own foundation in regard to this tragic, unconstitutional event.
The Give Peg an Award Foundation. Yeah, thats what I'll call it. This "Adopt-A-Mind-Field" thingy is totally not working
out. I haven't seen a penny of profits and that worries me! Isn't making money the point of a charity? You would think
that, wouldn't you? Wait...what were we talking about? Oh yeah! The Oscars. What a rip off. I want my award!
Paul and Heather saw a sneak preview of the
"I Am Sam"
film starring Sean Penn a few months ago and Paul commented, "That's a really cool film."
He (Sean Penn's character, Sam) gets his positive
attitude through Beatles songs and communicates through Beatles songs. "I think that's really a magic idea for those
of us that made the records and wrote the music." He said the film gave his fiancee Heather Mills a sinus infection
from crying so much and added, "Warn the audience to bring tissues!" The movie opens Friday,
January 11 and is about a mentally challenged man who is raising a child alone. There are also references to Beatles trivia.
Yeah, like Paul SO made me go see that movie, against
my will. Apparently it had referance thingies to a band he likes or something. I didn't notice. But anywho, he said firmly,
"We're going!" which means in Heather-English: I miss my favorite show, Jeopardy. Poo! So we go to the theater and I figure
it'll be some public appearance type 'a thing. Naturally, I must look good for my audience (I ALWAYS do) so I wore this big
fat diamond bracelet. As we're sitting in the theater, all these people start talking to Paul, which is so gay cuz they
totally ignore ME. I decided to slip away and buy some junk food at a consession stand. When I get back, Paul is writing
some number on this reporter lady's hand and I'm all like, "Yo! What are you writing?" He sees me and cries, "Oh! I was
just giving this young lady...my...social security number! Yeah! That's what I'm writing." Oh brother! Isn't he weird? A
couple minutes later, the movie starts and I swear, that Sam guy is like SO neato! He reminds me of ME! But after a while,
things start to get confusing cause I totally don't understand all that court-poo. Lawyers, and legal crap is not my cuppa
tea. I looked down at my watch to check the time when I noticed my diamond bracelet was GONE! Eek! I looked down at my lap
and it wasn't there. Not cool! I started crying, and crying until Paul finally said, "Heather, what's wrong with you?" I
told him my bracelet was missing and he said, "Did you check the floor?" I was all like, "EW! The dirty floor? No!" Paul
can be so gross. After the movie, I was in tears and some reporter people started writing about me (I could just tell!).
But that's okay because that means I get more attention and attention is neato.
Heather Review 3-04-02
Tee hee! Like totally, hello! I SO saw
another movie so you know what THAT means? Time for a Peg Hollywood Review (neato!). Okay, I was looking at the list of
movies playing and they all looked soooo gay (Hey, wouldn't it be so coolio if they made a movie about me and called it
Goddess of the Ring?). But I saw one called the Mothman Prophecies (what the hell is a prophecy anyways?) so I figured,
"Well, its Paul's money anywhow!" So I got me a ticket and headed on into the theater. I was expecting you know, a movie
about bugs and junk, cuz it WAS called the MOTHman Prophecies. But instead, it started off with this weird little person
made out of film-strips and he was conducting a band or some such nonsence. How confusing! About then, I just about walked
out when that damn film-strip thingy came back on the screen and told me to be quiet for the convenience of others. "YOU BE
QUIET!" I yelled to the screen (he TOTALLY heard me). As I was about to leave, like this smelly guy said, "How can you be
leaving? The movie hasn't even started yet?" What a weirdo. I decided to stay and see the rest of the movie. Let me tell
you, it was S-C-A-R-I-E! Wait...yeah, that's how you spell it. I like, almost peed my pants (only I decided not to cuz that
would not be neato). Yeah, that movie was SO scarie! I kept screaming and junk throughout the whole thing...that is, until
that mean teenager told me to shut-up (how rude!). To summarize the movie: I totally ate a hot dog, some popcorn, a couple
M&Ms I found on the floor, and I stole some girl's ring...it was also on the floor. Yeah, what a coolio movie. I
suggest you see it.
Oh my GOSH, everyone! I come with depressing news. Surely,
you remember GARY BAKEWELL, the cutey who played Paul McCartney in both "Backbeat" AND "The Linda McCartney Story"? Well my
friend, Brianna, has informed me that he is getting married!!! NoOOOOO!!! Yes, it's true. My little Gary is tying the knot
with ironically enough, his co-star who played Linda in "The Linda McCartney Story". Apparently, it was *love at first
sight* on the set of their movie. I will quote my favorite line from that movie, said by an Apple Scruff out-side the
McCartney home: "Bitch!" LOL. No, I wish you and your love the best of happiness, Gary. You broke my heart, you adorable
b@stard. I love you, I hate you, I love you!
Rumors! Rumors! Rumors!
If you were heart-broken to learn about Paul and Heather's engagement, you aint'
seen nothing yet! "Vanedades", a Spanish magazine (the American equivilent of People Magazine) has reported that
Paul and his lady are expecting a baby this December! This would make Heather six months pregnant along. The couple plan to
be married next year, thus after the baby is born. And to give you an estimate of how old the child would be in relation to
Paul, the baby would be thirty years younger than Paul's youngest kid! Making Paul 60 years old, even before little
Paulie/Paula Jr. turns 1! Sources say that "Vanidades" has been known for its accuracy and truth over the years,
and assure this not to be a rumor. However, there are still some questions that may contradict their story. For example,
why would a Spanish magazine have the story first? Wouldn't the news be more public? Has Paul issued a statement in regard
to the rumor? And why is Heather Mills still averaging a model waist line for a woman of 6 months pregnant? More to come,
when rumor is confirmed!
Is it just me, or do American actress, Monica Potter and
Heather Mills have a resemblance going on?